pieces

right in the center of my thorax or under my solar plexus i feel it. the knot sticks there and shakes, i wonder if that's what the tremors start as, a little knot, that grows into a full on body quake. it stays right there for now, coffee and food today didn't make it go anywhere. power nap didn't remove it either. i can picture the junkie digging at his stomAch to get the bugs out, my tremors are lingering like that but just sort of a pleasant visitor right now. i think i'll get back on the bike tomorrow, running isn't taking the ghosts away right now, they are staying in the middle, safely, like switzerland avoiding any real pressure from any side. sunday was a great ride that should be done more often, pictures tonight, treeline and down in the clouds to the good high speed singletrack. shut off any issues and just follow the front end, no stopping for the slower thoughts, keeping my nose in the cheese. running fills the void only so long, the slowness and plodding nature lose entertainment quickly, the jarring of my bones into my cartlidge into my tendons into my organs into my shoes is the best part. shaking the jelly up that gets so loosely packed riding the bike all year. not like it is inaccessable, just in a neat little bundle, running loosens it. i feel more complete, getting out of the comfort zone, into the place i love but i can leave. different vehicles take you places better, a bike is a bike but a foot offers a separate piece. more to see with a different way to get there. the feeding isn't going to stop whether or not i get enough i know i'm getting more than i was. always getting another snack. the chill is there in the air, the better weather for cross is coming. as soon as i get rid of my condition today, this week, this month, i'll feel like the steps are being taken. time to dig out the dirt around it and clean it off and sharpen, tune and polish, until the form is there, sort of like a sculptor that is working on his first piece in a year, well, 9 months.