i don't really know why it comes up but sometimes i get into this string of negative thought that just snowballs. i figured out last night that i have roughly 20-25 years of working before i want to retire, and i have been working for less than that to this point, so i need to get a profession figured out that will give me satisfaction. i don't want to change the world, my goals are more pedestrian than that, i just want to do my work and go home to my family and bike. or i should play the lottery and solve all of my problems right there. retired by 40? that would be great.


i raced both days over the past weekend and took monday and tuesday off. nothing too bad considering the training i had done leading into the weekend and the load of racing and driving on the weekend. well now i can't sleep. it started monday night, early wake up though i didn't have to and earlier tonight. how am i supposed to take my break starting sunday if i can't rest? maybe i'll just start to ski at the nordic center beginning monday and call the break as being off the bike. 2 a.m. sucks. i like to sleep but i laid in bed for 45 minutes before coming downstairs to write this. my head isn't tired either, body is ready to go, maybe i'll go to fruita and ride some singletrack the weekend of nationals, that's a good for a break right? if i could shower right now i would, maybe that could reset the body. anything to get to sleep until 5. there is excercise-induced-asthma, what about lack of excercise-induced-insomnia? here are some pics of the races courtesy of joe d at primus mootry.



rough wake up from my nap, lunch isn't sitting too well, nothing like a nauseous nap. b is still enjoying his. he's fine. what an amazing kid. no bike today, maybe hot tub and stretch, but i don't want to mingle with all of those germs, certainly no steam room. that would be really dumb, bacteria frappe, no thanks. paranoia isn't such a bad thing. no chills today, lots of shoveling to keep me warm.


i'm still in the process of accepting that i cannot go to nats, i wanted to see where the form i have would leave me, top 10? probably. i can't help but think about when one of bosses sat on a desk chair and it broke, literally snapped under the boss' substantial weight. yeah, i can see that they wouldn't want me to go. what bullshit. i should have become a competitive eater instead of bicycle racer.


shaubie opened the door to let #1 out and stated "shit, it's cold out" b heard this and walked around the house saying "shit, it's cold out, shit, it's cold out, shit, it's cold out." the foot of snow last night and the pure entertainment are making today even better.



i scored a good weekend of racing, little family stuff in the denver area and then a good bit of work to make the turkey day gorging a distant memory instead of a reason for guilt. saturday's race was on the probably the turniest course i have ever raced, i bet the lap had more than 10 switchbacks and countless other turns to slow down progress. as usual the big guns pushed the pace early on. dennis was drilling it, karl sitting dutifully on his wheel with karl's teammate mark sweeping up behind me. the gap was starting to go and i could feel a move coming, the course really didn't allow for much passing, the four of us were getting away steadily and then the two great divide riders (karl and mark) tried to put a move on me. the one moved around me and started to let a gap open to the two leading riders, i saw it coming in time to jump across and go into the lead. that was about it, i turned the screw a bit on the turns and started to see the gap grow. riding the off camber sections allowed further time, good skills. i got lucky, karl had troubles and he was the one chasing me. sunday offered a far more wide open course, with room for passing. i got lucky and started like a shot and got the lead going into the dirt the first time, mitch came around me to get the first lap beer prime, soon after i went around him on the turny section to get the lead again, karl was on my wheel, we started going and seeing daylight behind i tried to push a little lead home. karl wasn't willing to work, i rode as smooth as i could not really wanting to ride solo the whole race from the second lap. he let a gap open and i just started pushing harder. no real bad mistakes other than missing a pedal here and there and the gap settled around 15 seconds, enough for comfort and i could see what was going on behind. not bad, four in a row going into the final weekend of racing. states, the season is great already.



blue water and clean way to start the day. didn't slip coming in, the bike rolled well, i was too cold to think, not enough layers to avoid the bite. plannig the weekend, race both days? probably not.
managed a good thanksgiving workout yesterday, solo until riding with shaubie for the warm down. didn't see very many riders out, i thought this odd because it was sooo nice, nearly 60 degrees and sunny. i did see a big black pig walking on the side of the road, near a farm but still just kind of wandering around. he didn't seem to care about the people in cars, or on bikes that were riding past him. pretty big guy too, i bet on the heavy side of 150 lbs. no snakes, this is the set of roads where in the summer i see more than a few squished rattle and other snakes that didn't make it to the other side or were caught sleeping on the warm road at the wrong time.



i'm still shocked that i managed to stay up yesterday, then again today, the roads are so icy. the studs help a ton but then again when it's this icy i suppose that it's just a matter of time. the motivation is solid for the last two weekends of the season. i can't help but feel good after two in a row. the lack of nats isn't that bad, the break is good, now i can start first of the year and be ready and motivated to do the winter work.



somehow i got the work done tonight without crashing or getting hit by a car. shaubie was able to get off work early to send me out at 4 pm. i could have ridden at 1 but it was a bigger block of time to go at 4. the roads in the highlands were all ice or snowpacked, the highway was a bit better. oddly enough low redneck factor considering i was riding during rushour. managed to get the work i wanted, the cold air opened u pthe lungs very well. kind of like a nordic effort, only easier, i was riding a bike afterall, nothing is as hard as skiing. softer tires i know helped get me more work and no time touching the ground. i found the place on my last interval up the last hill, the breathing and the legs went along in a pace that felt almost peaceful, hard enough to get the work done, but not hurting like i was out of shape, maybe the form is there and i'm polishing it nicely to the place it needs to be for december 3rd.



i've been thinking about this for a while, but i don't think i have ever eaten at a cracker barrel, i did think for a while though that the signs read "chicken banquet" while also reading "cracker barrel." i wonder if they'll ever remake the flash gordon movie? wasn't it called "flash gordon"? the scene in the swamp where they had to stick their hands in the stump thing and not get bitten by whatever was in there really creeped me out.


no update b/c i have no computer right now. sunday's race was on a better course for me, similar strategy as last week, let the other leaders play their cards before i did my thing. cariveau (moots) was on another level the first few laps, couldn't believe how fast he was going, riding the first few laps in the group of three was a bit hectic, cariveau off the front and no real effort from anyone to close the gap had me wondering, i didn't want to do the work. a late arrival on the line had me starting at the very back, no chance of a gift with this group, no "hey i'm tim, wanna let me on the front line?" last spot on the line took a few minutes and half a lap to get to the front group, the lead pack was about to check out. i didn't want to burn too many matches to get there. being dumb meant i had to wait a while before i did much racing. i just held on until the slowing happened, got around him until karl tried his effort and then i had my turn, threw it down on the right spot for me, leading into the technical bits where solo was faster than following wheels. the mud was probably shin deep on the one longer running stretch, riding it was out of the question, the bike would have gained 3 kilos in mud. really good course for me to attack solo, super turny, technical, forcing accelerations out of every turn to cement the gap. took a few laps to establish the right gap for comfort but in the end it was about 30 seconds. i had good luck after flatting on the warm up laps and not paying attention to the time. silly mistake but i guess it didn't really matter.



more snow last night, quiet trip across the tundra to get in. very few slips, the tires are working very well. the disappointment is fading a little bit, sucks not going to the show. maybe next year. i'll get a jump start on the break a week earlier and by christmas start the ball rolling. maybe sayulita in february for a good little sand and sun fix.


no nationals for me this year. figured it out last night, work is being as inflexible as my schedule outside of work. no way i can switch days and make the trip, for some bullshit reason work will not allow unpaid leave, family stuff has eaten up what i had and that's it. i guess the corpulent ones see this as leading to troubles down the road.



thanks to jeff for putting this story up on his website. very cool to see a totally culture different from the eyes and viewpoint of the local people, not the lens of a photojournalist. the picture in the slideshow of the grandfather and grandson reminded me of learning to fish with my grandfather when i was about that little boy's age. he taught me to fish with a bamboo pole we found in the woods and some second hand fishing line and some baitfish. we caught a good bit of fish that we ate or fed to the cat on the farm at which we were staying. the cormorant birds reminded me of seeing them work in japan on the longboats in the little harbors or coves.


i had a good spot of work on the way home yesterday, climbed to the top of boreas, couldn't stop thinking about the firecracker 50, except for the feet of snow lining the road the effort was the same. the weather: the opposite. good legs, when i totaled the time it was a half hour of effort. at this point in the season i couldn't have asked for more of an outside workout on the bike. i stopped at the top to put on the other jacket and my balaclava for the trip back down. it took a good 15 minutes before my toes were not aching after i got home. had big songs going in my head, some misfits, descendents and to mellow the end of the ride after the descent to town some smiths. motivation is good for the weekend, the legs are coming around nicely and the taper begins for states and nats.



better today, tuesday's run and yesterday's sweatfest on the rollers have me guardedly optimistic for sunday, if i could figure out a way to get in a two hour ride that would close out the training week perfectly. three feet of snow certainly curb the safe outdoor riding, the commute is about all i can do. it just didn't really stop from friday afternoon until monday night. straight home yesterday to get on the rollers. same today unless the roads clear. watched pro last night while on the rollers, pretty cool stuff, motivating to see those bury it so hard without thinking of a result for themselves. getting a good head together for this weekend's race, rollers and good race videos motivate me.



cool sky to bring me in today. i guess nearly three feet of snow and a full moon do spell no lights at 5 am. not that cold, probably about 0, far warmer than the expectation. still no octopus, getting antsy to see what he has to offer me. spent 15 minutes last night putting on the studded tire, broke a tire lever and have rubber burns on my thumbs. managed to stay up across the ice. surprised to see so much ice amid the snowpacked roads, it didn't get above 5 all day tuesday. trying to keep focus on the last few weeks of cross, rollers today, need to keep on the work.


esd and questions

i see the light at the end of the tunnel, the end is near when the three week break comes and i get to rest. i hope to get a two month diagnosis of esd (extra slow disorder) base miles are very good for the head. 5 hours on the road in the cold and wind whenever i can get it done. a good winter with music and podcasts to pedal away the kilometers. now the reservations for providence need to be made, do we go? is it worth it? should i save the $ for a week in hanalei in february? would i rather suffer thru hikes and runs with shaubie along the na pali coast than chasing a top 10 at nationals?


pics and pans

a few pics from my one good showing in the open race this year, bad legs snowball into bad seasons, maybe this past weekend put those bad ones away for a while. these are from the gunnison weekend, good show on the twilight race and then sunday put good to my thoughts that i took it too easy thru the spring and summer. now that catch-up has been the program since then, with not much to show for it. not that last weekend was bad, 2nd place is ok but it sucks racing with one lung. i had both of them yesterday.


a win

it came together today, first one in two years, felt good to start the last lap with a good little gap and go full wood to the line. good scrap, couple of regular fast guys made it fun and hard. karlito and dennis thought they had it figured out, bury me on the road and get in front of me before the barriers so i couldn't gap them there. dennis would drill it on the road, karl and i would look at each other, saying with our faces "you want him? you go get him" this went on for a few laps. finally dennis got and gap and forced karl and i to work together till dennis yardsaled it on a barrier, we got around him and that was it for dennis. 4 to go i spilled on a slick offcamber turn and had to work a full lap and a half to bring karl back, soon as i did he got in front of me on the big running section. next time thru with 1.5 to go i drilled it into big running section and gapped carl for the last time, hard effort for 5 minutes or so and that was it, my first win in the 35+ field. maybe the training is coming around in time for the last few weekends of the season. dennis got around karl somewhere after i got away to come second, he seems to be gaining form too, could be a good scrap at states.


blue and a little white

blue water to make an otherwise mundane morning a little sweeter. had to listen to a bureaucrat spew the usual, at least my boss diluted it with the cheers. got to ride the cross bike again today in the weather, little that we got before it all faded into a dry evening. great opening day. global warming is a myth. it might just go the way of that whole so called evolution thing.



i love it when you see hate in the name of god. not only does that jackass robertson condemn openmindedness he also threatens wrath upon those who choose another way of thought. this isn't a statement against any church, it's a scientific statement, simply put the school board lost for trying push their thought upon an educated non-complacent public. note:please click on the post title to read the news story


big songs

i got to listen to some big songs, lots of old stuff that made me happy. dag nasty's wig out at denko's and bad religion's suffer, the music just motivates me, i wanted to hop on the rollers and blow out whatever shit is lingering in my comprimised lungs. anybody wanna burn me a copy of these two?


last fall

a photo from last year i just found that i really like, good weather for me for and good form too. still hoping to get to that place this year. soon.

random parts

when you put together something out of pile of seemeingly useless junk and actually come out with a THING, it's pretty cool. i remember putting togther a bike or two this way, for myself or for friends. gathering up the pieces and getting it done by cobbling together parts form all sorts of places. usually a cross bike, fixy or a singlespeed, rarely a full mtb or road bike. this is a picture of a sculpture in the please touch museum in philly, really cool, the parts are all the way thru, not just on the exoskeleton.


i still have that waterbed mattress sitting on my chest. didn't help going up swan in the headwind with one lung collectively. still sucks being sick, maybe it's time to rest up? saw the helicopter today, maybe they are following me, tracing the steps to see if i make a mistake. plenty of those on the ride today, at least i can suffer uphill ok.



having a cold that stayed above the neck for the most part allowed the race to happen. i got lucky nobody really put the wood to me. rode without hitting the redzone. the skills were solid probably had a better set of lungs than the cold would have made me think. really fun, cruised around without too much hassle, good course for that. let the bike roll it's own path. whatever it was it worked fine. fifth time this year i was second, no wins, lots of the next place. big songs are louder than quieter ones, those are small songs, that's what b says.



i get it, gathering pace and beginning to steamroll. i doubt it will catch on with any great numbers but it will in smaller numbers, where it suits those that agree. people are reluctant to accept a wholesale shift. it's easier the other way.



bad religion kept me warm back from frisco tonight, after dark, solo light. no helicopters hovering over me or over my sleep tonight, i hope. middle class assasins helped too. it's good to be able to hear the warmth. maybe the locusts will come.
all i want today is some blue water and maybe 90 minutes to ride and untangle my muscles. this training thing takes a bit of getting used to. i feel like a, what's it called? oh yeah, bike racer. that gnome that attacked me the other night has left the bulding, no more ab workouts at 1am. he left a gnarly trail of destruction.


the first place of business i have been to in a long time that smelled of cigarette smoke was where i go to fill my propane tank. odd. you would think a place that deals with flammable gas would have a no smoking rule on their grounds. did the boulder cross ride, super work on two totally opposite courses. i've wanted to do this ride for years but getting a wednesday off to go do it was always a challenge. 50 or 60 riders showed up most of the fast guys from the area that i try to race with on the weekend. when you line up with full pros for a training race the line blurs that you are only training. after the organized ride rocco and i spun up boulder canyon to betasso (sp?) what a great day of training.