I went to the happy place. It was all there beautiful and scenic, so clear the taste of blood in throat only made it better. Everytime I went deep the system answered- funny how good volume makes for good racing. Untangling the knots with one weekend left. Can't it be longer?
I think I look down a little too much. I'm always checking to see if my knee has a funky wobble or if I'm pedaling my pedal out of the crank arm. Or, just looking at legs turning over my gear. With the shine going it's even more distracting. In the race I do it too, luckily I was only dealing with Jon and had less to be aware of aside from his tempo. Oh, and trying to win a cross race. I like how the embro pools the dust/dirt on certain spots on my leg, like that's more in the wind or more sticky, whatever it is I think I like it. Cross is just better this year the lactic acid tastes better the legs feel better and the wheels turn in a newer rhythm I'd lost for a few years.
Linard had a few good shots from Sunday, I like the pan action on this one. I am amazed at the pace this year, it didn't always mean that a bad start was lights out, that's changed this year. At least for me it's on the list to fix for next year.
Mid day tempo effort to get out when you are supposed to ride, not when you have to because of the laundry list of chores attacks the clock. Arriving at 9 p.m. and wondering where the day went. Pleasantly surprised that the weather and the roads allowed a fairly clean ride. Not like last Sunday, that was different.
I just watched this again. As if the motivation wasn't high enough. Now I want to ride to the Bakery. But will the OCD paranoia make me ride to the vegetable aisle instead. Getting back from the Turkey CX ride and I hit the fruit bowl before the candy bowl. The OCDs get in the way around the Holidays.
Somehow in the exhaustion of the last few days I found a bigger motivation to go well the last 2 weekends of the season. Fully knowing what is coming up I feel better and clearer-winter breaks and the work to begin on Xmas. 3 weeks of recovery and then it's all about the 2010 results. Tied inextricably to the first page. I want to not care so much about it and enjoy the process but the darkness inside the competitive side rears it's head each time.
I can't remember the last time I had to get up in the middle of the night to take Vitamin I. It must have hard yesterday to cause that. Meanwhile it's piling up. Later into fall and the earlier into winter get the window closes that much more. It's going to be tight getting to December 5th. I need to eschew the usual vices and get it together for the last two weekends of racing. Yesterday there wasn't any love, too many mistakes combined with a crappy start set up made for a suffer from the back. It was only on the last lap that I opened up and made a move without falling on my ass. Moved form somewhere near 10th or 11th to finish a more respectable 6th. Ties my worst result of the year.
Trying to get out more for the head than the legs is challenging right now, if at all. Too many barriers, not the 40cm ones-those are easy! I want to get on the bike and go up-Loveland or Ute or Rist, I'd take anything I can get. To feel the vertical slide beneath my wheels, melt away my frozen distractions into a sweet pool of spring water.
I don't know if I'm crisp or brittle right now. Nothing that can resemble proper rest to recover from the work. Riding on ice has the Hakkapelita on the front end to stave off the inevitable. Right now though with 3 weekends left I feel the stale creeping in as the other stress piles behind the levy.
It seems lately there are a lot more Jesus fish on cars, at least on the cars I'm seeing. Maybe this time of year or whatever it is but I keep seeing more of them. Hmmmm, I resist the urge to get a Darwin fish, that wouldn't do anything. I think it's better to just not do anything. I especially like the ones incorporated into Confederate flags, those are extra special, they say "Not only do I love Jesus, but I hate you if you disagree with me or my views on ANYTHING" I don't think Xenophobia is painful, at least outwardly.
Trying isn't enough. Sometimes the air gets let of your sails or like yesterday, out of the tire. A lot of snow and an almost assured-of good day of cross never came. Instead fixing a flat truck tire in a parking lot 40 minutes away from the race I was already going to be barely able to make. The alloy wheel bonded itself to the truck axle, fuck me, no luck until a kung fu kick freed it. Coffee, sandwich and back up the hill. Frustrated and out of the chance to go 3 in a row in the Boulder Series. Fucked.
Travis found the bag in the river, riding down the path he saw something near the edge and stopped to pick it up. It had washed down stream about a mile from where the accident happened. When he dropped it off on his way out of town I started doing a little research, the girl had been driving East on I-70 and lost control of the car, sliding off the road only to land in the river. Massive head injuries and months in a hospital left the bag forgotten. When I called the number in Denver the guy answering the phone couldn't be bothered. Maybe a husband sick of dealing with the wife cum vegetable? Or, perhaps just done; period. Maybe she died and this was going to be one more reminder of what was lost. Either way I drove the bag, stinky as hell, to the State Trooper Station in Silverthorne and left it there. It kind of smelled like death.
Over the years I have been riding (probably 25+, with regularity) I have worn a helmet most of that time. It's not that I made myself, it just seems right, when I have gone without it wasn't, well, right. Sure looking at the photos of the big guns wearing their hats all suave and Euro made me think about it but I'm just not that good, I can't handle the bike the way they can, consequently, I wrap it up.
The late fall sun skews everything, 70 degrees 50 miles away, 15 degrees when I leave. The numbers only confuse me into thinking I need more than I do. Don't get me wrong, the time is there, more than I should but less than the numbers add up to. Sneaking around icy patches and waiting for the mid day crisp that becomes a soggy undershirt when I overdress for the work. Always thinking it will add up to another good result, it's not that linear though, too many tangents between here and the finish line.
Slippery riding to work on an icy path and for the 2nd day in a row there is this woman walking her 2 Doberman Pinschers on the bike path, off leash just running around. She saw me a little earlier than yesterday and corraled them in time to have me pass safe(r). Opposite of the trip home last night when another dog owner was letting his 2 big dogs run free, I must have looked really fascinating because the dogs chased me for a few hundred yards with the guy not really doing shit. I try not to think of the path as just a bike path, but for fuck's sake get your goddam dogs on a leash if they chase ANYTHING!
Two days of racing and two totally different views of the race. No top step this weekend, the Sun didn't shine of this dog's ass this weekend. Some of the heaviest mud I've seen in years, bikes every half lap, that heavy. No legs when I needed to grind, and an untimely yard sale kept me out of the top 5. Today; dry, clear, tacky. Fast legs and faster racing offered a bit of redemption. One missed cue and 2nd chasing 1st, on the wrong end of the equation. Clean riding and a lot more traction kept the speed up, easily rolling in 2nd. Really fun high speed stuff today juxtaposed with heavy sloggy racing yesterday. Pics to follow.