mold

the sandwich i had last night and then one i made for breakfast today both had mold on the roll. my concern is wit the fact that two meals in a row and i ate mold. the coffee today was weak, i may get sick today, i may not. is mold that bad for you? it must be pretty bad. maybe a coffee at lunch, good and black will get rid of it. an americano to course thru and dissolve any nasties trying to sicken me.

up

there are not superlatives wide enough to describe how good the road bike felt today. i know this makes me sound more like a roadie than i perfer to be described but it felt so good to roll the skinny tires down the path that i feel like i was just released from a POW camp. better sleep last night to rid me of that knot in the center of my solar plexus that hampered anything other than a brief run yesterday and a full rest day monday. i don't normally take whole days off, i didn't really have a choice, i needed to prepare to not sleep much monday night. mistake. a ride is always better than not. the cool air woke. no ghosts last night. better sleep. it sounds so basic but a ride is always better than not. better always. no matter how beat the body and mind feels it opens the paths and improves everything.

pieces

right in the center of my thorax or under my solar plexus i feel it. the knot sticks there and shakes, i wonder if that's what the tremors start as, a little knot, that grows into a full on body quake. it stays right there for now, coffee and food today didn't make it go anywhere. power nap didn't remove it either. i can picture the junkie digging at his stomAch to get the bugs out, my tremors are lingering like that but just sort of a pleasant visitor right now. i think i'll get back on the bike tomorrow, running isn't taking the ghosts away right now, they are staying in the middle, safely, like switzerland avoiding any real pressure from any side. sunday was a great ride that should be done more often, pictures tonight, treeline and down in the clouds to the good high speed singletrack. shut off any issues and just follow the front end, no stopping for the slower thoughts, keeping my nose in the cheese. running fills the void only so long, the slowness and plodding nature lose entertainment quickly, the jarring of my bones into my cartlidge into my tendons into my organs into my shoes is the best part. shaking the jelly up that gets so loosely packed riding the bike all year. not like it is inaccessable, just in a neat little bundle, running loosens it. i feel more complete, getting out of the comfort zone, into the place i love but i can leave. different vehicles take you places better, a bike is a bike but a foot offers a separate piece. more to see with a different way to get there. the feeding isn't going to stop whether or not i get enough i know i'm getting more than i was. always getting another snack. the chill is there in the air, the better weather for cross is coming. as soon as i get rid of my condition today, this week, this month, i'll feel like the steps are being taken. time to dig out the dirt around it and clean it off and sharpen, tune and polish, until the form is there, sort of like a sculptor that is working on his first piece in a year, well, 9 months.

dirty work

i feel achy and sore and chilly, it must be the start of cross season. first run of the year and the first practice session. better work to come, better runs, runs are never good just more work and more suffering. the bike was great until i needed to brake hard around a corner and both cables pulled thru. no brakes in the mud on a mostly narrow parcours isn't the best. i overcooked most turns after that. good practice anyway. stepping off the bike at 30km/hr was a challenge on the first day in cross mode since december. i like to stir my coffee with an old kids spoon, it's so quiet and it still stirs. amazing, it makes me so happy to put my coffee together before i get out. the other day when my thermos with a full compliment of peets house blend inside, bounced down the path at 50km/hr. the thermos survived with a few scratches and it really doesn't sit so well upright. it works ok but i was bummed to see my trusty thermos marred. the spoon is great, the perfect size to get the job done and make the coffee mixed just right. it gets most of sediment off the bottom from the presspot and makes the flavors meld just right. good spoon.

sleeping in chunks

i don't think i got rested in one night, i was tired all week and just a short day on the bike followed by good sleep couldn't have been all it took to get me to rested point. today i'm up at 5, ready to go. damn bugs. i wish i could get the better side of it. on occasion oversleep, get more than i need. instead i get to do what insomniacs do all the time, i guess, plan a day that needs no planning and wonder what sort of tired this will make me later today or tomorrow. i'd like to get on the bike ealier but that just seems foolish, that and the foxes and coyotes outside tonight/morning are going nuts about something, maybe they got a good tasting cat last night, just not mine.

brian?

yesterday was more tiring than it should have been, legs aren't thrilled but i wnat more, the volume is up and the motivation is high going into cross but i just keep getting tired, is brian back? i love the tapeworm but i wish he'd bother someone else for a few months. i saw doctor hotplate the other day, enough said. i feel good about the food but the engine always can use more, i never finish a ride with food in pockets or drink in bottles. that seems to be working pretty well. more.

5-0

colorado state patrol has set up a road rage hotline for cyclists *277, i hope other states follow. let's rid ourselves of the asshole of the moment.

ride

i'm too much of an asshole to be confused for a hippie for one second but i do try to do the right thing environmentally. i heard a story on NPR and living on earth about how the ice caps in greenland are melting faster than just ten years ago. in 1997 the caps were melting at 19 cubic miles a year, last year they melted at a rate of 52 cubic miles a year. i know that global warming is a left wing scare tactic and that it is a myth but that myth is going to make some new beachfront property a little bit inland. with the price of gas so high try to ride or walk an errand today, it's not always easy to break the habit but today is a good day to try, it's monday, the hardest day of the week, make it harder today. just get off gas pedal for an hour and try the other pedal. enough preaching, i hate it when the soapbox gets under my feet. sorry 'bout that. better yet ignore me, all three people who might be reading this are going to ride anyway today. fuk cheney.

hot and dry

i guess didn't cool down enough last night at the end of the ride, i slept like i was on a tongue of lava. better to get a cool down in, a real cool down where the body gets out the heat and readies to get off the bike. for real, not much sleep and then a coughing fit to make sure i got shit sleep for the night. i'm still too warm, the furnace is working overtime for no reason, i need to jump in the river on the lunch ride to cool off, a quick visit to hypothermia-land would do the trick. i guess 7 hours of riding in two days with races is firing up the system more than normal. oddly i don't feel fatigued, just warm and dry. maybe today i could get an IV while i work to top me off a bit. special sauce in there to make me faster for cross...

redux

the hands are slowly recovering, i almost feel pre-arthritic, is that a thing? i can ride a bike just fine i just need a bit of help when it comes to the 2 hour zone on ski area trails. i raced the longer one wednesday night, better work and harder on the system, i feel good about that, i'll do more of that next year in the local series. tim rocked the overall on the single and showed that it isn't a geared world. for me next year it will be a front suspended world for a lot of races, i need it to keep up on a lot of courses. summer is a bad time to get hurt with cross looming. if it'd not a focal point of the season why make it harder? just a good effort every other wednesday night. road bike for a few more days to recover and then get out the narrow knobs and start the real work of the season, the one that matters most. it's time to get out the running shoes too, old ones aren't good for new work.

even

not always sure what to eat more of, the curds aren't making me hungry, i try to eat more not less than i need. claw tomorrow.

dubya

if you ever needed a meal and a bit of scripture you can go to our local a&w. my personal favorite offering is god cream i guess they call it a rootbeer float but i like it as god cream. they change the dogma on the board out front every few days, you know to keep you informed on latest goings on in the wonderful business, er, world of religion. keep the faith. nothing like some curds and a bit of the good book.

@&=

i keep seeing what isn't always there. rolling around i try to at least see what is in front of me but then when i doze off it gets muddled, not that i fall asleep, i just lose what it is i'm looking for. more pictures to follow, odd thoughts today, nothing concise.

stripes

first claw in a few weeks today, it was too good, i could eat one every day, the guilt gets to me. not that i feel guilty for eating a claw i feel guilty for not getting more of them, more is better, bigger is better. america right? not much in music is new, punk was about the last really new thing and even that was just more amorphic zeppelin and kinks. the message is in there for me, i like to hear what the point is, i stopped listening to beck after i heard he was into xenu and the frozen alien bodies. wtf? i do like the white stripes right now, sort of zeppelin meets sonic youth more of a 2:1 ratio of that equation. better bones takes a hit can't stop listening to the guitar jack throws out on the live in boston show available illegally on archive.org if you don't want to pay for it. amazing. expect a few more pictures to waste your time with soon, i may be regularly posting a pic of the sign in front of our local a&w, look out for a little less xenophobia and more cheese curds. mmmmmmm curds.

picture perfect

perfect day for a nice little mtb ride, i traded the big wheels on the rigid single for a new machine. i enjoyed riding gears and suspension for a day, the legs were happy to get the break and the body didn't mind the lesser abuse. not that i'm switching but it was fun and different. bad and good, i still prefer one gear for off road. better. don't let your dog near these mushrooms if you see them, permanent neurological damage if they eat one. bad shit.

closer

tests are getting more frequent. i like this build up to cross. better things. another office park crit, smaller field than usual, roadies don't travel. we tried to do too much, not enough gas to get away, not enough speed to make a separation, too lazy to attack and make it stick. smart attack by the one guy with enough gas to get a gap with 1.5 laps left and then we all watched him go. cat and mouse on the last lap, i sat second/third wheel until 1 corner to go and i opened up the sprint, wondering, who was coming around me at the line. the leader was coming back quickly, not fast enough, i looked back just before the line realizing i ran out of race. another 100 meters and i might have won. might not did. i lost.

mint

i saw peppermint patty walking on the bike path this morning, really odd, the same costume everyday, like a cartoon character. doctor hotplate other day was looking like she hadn't seen a meal in months, i think if she went to somalia if she would look too skinny there too. peppermint patty is another anomaly, one day 10k form the spot i saw her the day before, i wonder if she walks my bike commute every day. she might know doctor hotplate, maybe they are in the same support group, undereaters anonymous or something. over do one end while under doing the opposite. i wish i had a bearclaw right now. i want to feel the chill in the air, running across the boards can't be far away, practice begins around the end of the month, going to visit my happy place, maybe this fall will be a muddy one, that'd be nice. gallop over the barriers, place the bike down in the mud and pedal away, mostly if not all in state this season. travel is too difficult on the system. we are going to try and save for a mid winter getaway to a beach. 3 of us going to build sand castles. naps in the afternoon and beers on the beach; the right way to end the cycling season.

thirst

mosaic in the dirt, in the bottom of the mud, i think i saw the key to what i thought meant the solution. make sense? not really at this point the keys are in the effort to get to the rest of it. i like the place it puts me, better to be here than around the next corner before i get to it. one pedal stroke at a time. looking and hoping isn't as good as knowing and gaining.

odins

good ride tonight in the test, muddy and lots of up, i was ok there, the downs not so much, too much for me on the rigid. extended descents are never good for me. i rode well just not enough in the tank to close down the gaps, fun course. juanito grande was hit by a car the other day. he's ok, no leadville for the big guy. the bastard who hit him fled the scene, now he gets charged with felony hit and run. good, stupid asshole gets raped i hope. i can only hope what sort of anal trauma the driver will endure in the big house. single mindset says he did hours on that road over the years and got lucky he didn't become a hood ornament too.

twoday

what happened? i got out and the rest just went away. not like i was leaving to go somewhere just out to get a pedal and then the whole thing settled into a nice little bundle of nerves. not always bad nerves but nerves anyway for nerves sake. it flew over my head like so much octopus ink, caught in a current of alternating power. a deep indigo, the color you only see in dreams that are lucky enough to vivid. better bones hit and bigger things to come as the path moves along. always a better picture around the corner inside and a better view outside. nothing is better than the next, forget the last. past, better to see what is in front than to worry about what is passed. looking forward, the sight not seen, yet. blue blues and perfect reds, the other colors find their own place in the spectrum. better to see than to look around for what is right in front.

mars rising

less than rainy today, better weather but worse legs. more bug than buzz. better tomorrow for wednesday's test, build build the leaves are changing.

squirrels

mediocre race for me saturday, got in and did my work for the team and checked out when it got hairy on the last lap. rainsoaked office parks are not the place to prove your meddle with cross looming. got onto wheels that had thoughts of going to the break and sat there, not blocking as much as discouraging. fun stuff to not have personal goals, a lot less selfish than any mtb race or cross race for me. better better better. the guy who won is the worst rider in the bunch when it comes to being squirrely, oddly enough the only leadout he could get was from a teammate who didn't want to share the success with him after the race. the guy is just scary out there, i don't wanna ride near him for a second. a pile-up waiting to happen. sunday was great riding with shaubie, except she hit a squirrel about two hours and showered her bike with guts. that water bottle won't be used again. the poor thing was already dead on the side of the road and it got dead-er as her 23mm tires cut like a christmas ham. mmmmmmmm ham. i saw it going under her tires and turned away in time to hear the bloated carcass explode as she cut it into pieces. we didn't crash as we were grossed out but it was extra-gnarly.

fryed

somebody needs to stop the whining about the drugs problem in cycling, it's not a problem, it's a reality. deal with it, ride your bike. i have never finished a race and thought oh crap! with a bit of juice i could have won, or won by more. wtf? just ride, beat the guy next to you on the start line and try to beat your time if you race the same tt course all season. don't blame floyd or tyler or roberto or jan or ivan because you suck. lunch was good today, not too much traffic on the path and the legs were warm and happy. i feel cathartic about that last little rant, a good diatribe every few weeks feels good, i'm cleaner now. judge or not don't waste time and energy on things you have no control over. ready, set, go.

after

i got lucky i didn't try and beat the rain on the lunch ride, i waited an extra few minutes only to see the hardest rain and hail i have ever seen. no lunch ride. around the lake after work, higher redneck factor than normal, a few way too close, no need for that, my fat hips weren't even that far over the line, assholes. i think the one guy who got closer to hitting me than the others was in a hurry to get home to beat his wife. i can only imagine the rage; those damn cyclists trying to ride my road, while i am trying to get home to get my fat ass onto my couch.

keep right, or is it left?

the kid that didn't know right from left yesterday cost me a new road tire. i needed a new set anyway but now i don't have a choice. skidding at the 35 km/h can ruin a tire quickly. he saw me coming and still came across right in front of me. his parents just kind of looked at me, it was my fault afterall, i was riding and i shouldn't have been there. i should have been somewhere else. saturday will be another good one. i like this bike racing thing.

passing the test

good test last night, time trial of about 18k, not bad just over 45 min, mostly up hill, my rubber ankles got a good bit of work on the running sections. too high of consequence to ride some of the nastier rock/rootgardens. the bike felt so good, big wheels turning, body getting up there and staying there. i usually ride this trail the other way, not anymore, this is certainly the better way to ride it. better bones and got me thru it. i just had the auto pilot on, pace the whole way, good skills one mistake maybe worth 5 seconds, at best, not enough to make up the 30 i lost by. another test saturday, another chance. ready, set, go.results

ammonia

i think before the cat left us she peed in my road shoes. never have i smelled such an objectionable pair of shoes. the recent rain rides have made them worse, it just brings out the ammonia, my shoes can't be inside. test today, test saturday. rolling thru.