optimus

big test coming up this next week, a few races too, nothing too serious, those are later. still reeling from the food the other night, unreal stuff. i never got into the transformers but what i do remember this is what the main good guy looked like, feel free to call bullshit.

gauge

feeling good about the work, did a little tt yesterday to see what a good time could be for a ride i know. good effort, 1.15 around the lake, i think that's pretty good. better bones today, longer and steady in the wind. better legs than i thought for a mini block of real work. saw a guy walking around yesterday with a can of soup and an apple in a mesh pocket on the side of his backpack. odd, getting ready for a week in the wilderness, i guess. weird stuff for sure if you look around enough.

fried

i feel good today, the rides are building up. the first local world cup is a week out. we'll see. little bit of work on the mid range is due. i either feel full or starving. tape worm?

eat

i get tired of it, nonstop hunger or nausea, middleground would be a nice switch. oh well, i hope that the tapeworm leaves again soon. the beer tasted better last night, better after the ride and better after the work. at least i can eat early in the day. i just need more. no more canned enthusiasm. eat, mmmmm foods.

6 weeks

the day light at 5 am around the solstice makes me uneasy. about two months of the year i feel late, like i'm trying to get away with something. it's somebody else's morning and i'm taking a chunk away for myself. i prefer a little more dark and the constant stress of potholes and beasties. no matter where it is, better out of plainsight. that'll change and i'll get my peace early and late and maybe at lunch too. better that way, my own schedule to some extent, not one pushed on me. life is better that way.

you worried?

repent, sinners, repent.

nothing

i didn't get odd looks in the grocery store. i walked in and the dripping off my cap and the squishing of my shoe covers drew no attention. filling my little store run i had no clash songs in my head, just a short list and a few rainy k's, i got the list done and started home, not so easy with the bag of groceries, i should have worn a pack. my hour of rain riding to untangle the legs from the weekend's racing and riding and driving felt good, it gave me time to think about the upcoming weeks and new stuff. i won't miss the heavywaits and the anti-thinking about progression. i'll see the same stuff today i'll see in a few weeks, just different order of events.

how's your asspen?

i guess rich people with better weather aren't always faster. i got lucky, survived an hour in a pack of riders perhaps out of their comfort zone. not enough juice to get away in a break so had to wait and when i missed the attack from the guy i knew was going to win, i waited in for the sprint. came out of the last corner about 8th and took the field sprint for second. bike throw got it done, that made me happy. i like racing bikes. a few cool saves in the race on dropped pedals where the whole bike lifts off the ground w/o crashes, at least in front of me. one time the guy landed on his top tube at about 55km/h after his foot came out to save his bacon on a turn where he slammed his pedal into the ground. fun race.

roaring fork

odd surroundings, i think i saw a homeless person in apsen last night, wonder why? i bet he didn't even have a six figure income, that makes me feel good that i make less than a possible homeless guy in the land of rape and honey. today we are going to try and get shot out in woody creek, one less derelict out there betters the odds of not getting lead poisening. i guess the gonzo journalist from beyond the grave still has militia patroling to keep out us commoners. maybe we'll see tubbs or some other d list celebrity.

porc

yesterday was porcupines and coyotes, creeping up behind me, i guess i'm going pretty slow if a porcupine can sneak up on me. better than a couger or a bear. that's what the day after is for. today i'll need to freshen up for sunday. get fixt and hit the path. i was challenged to a game of chicken by the bus yesterday, he looked right at me and pulled out anyway, bastard. i can't get too worked up b/c last time i did a few years ago i chased him down to the next stop, got on the bus and threatened the driver. damn testosterone. i need to relax. i just have this thing for self-preservation. odd. he clipped my shoulder and rode me off the road. that made me more than a little angry as i tumbled over the curb at 45km/h. an old pro around here carried a handgun on rides, rumor was she used it more than once. crazy. nothing is worth more than freedom to do what you want. logic like that can go either way.

you think?

better feelings about yesterday's effort, the lungs were hurting i think from the lack of singlespeed time lately, switch over to the fixt for a while after the next block of road stuff. realize the challenge of getting on with two totally different discplines. the dichotomy of the opposing efforts suits whatever disorder i have, adult onset add, ocd or just plain mild insanity. my neighbor saw the bike and wondered what more i could do to suck the fun out of riding a bike. he rides a 35 pound dualie. easier isn't always funner, that's right funner.

stale kaiser roll

i wasn't so smart, my legs weren't strong enough to eclipse my stupidity. home course for the guys i was racing cost me, that and the other classes out there on course that were too slow. sagebrush singletrack that doesn't allow passing isn't the best place to get caught behind slower riders. i made a good effort, not as good as the kaiser did today but i'll take it. first ride on nines, the bike was a rolling machine. i was about as good as a stale kaiser roll, still good but not great. mmmmm bread and rolls

shake the tree

it's unsettling to feel motivated and reluctant at the same time. the bug is itching and without too many superlatives it's time to see where the holes are, i know they are there, just where is the question. was the work enough? did i fill in most of the holes, can i close the gaps? riding times will shift a touch with the changes in season, more early hours in favor of afternoons with the kid. i can chase the early hours to ride instead of just the short commute, everything will be longer, just on the other side of the day. i like that, shake the tree, readjust the order, mold grows on stagnant things. what's that growing on my sleeve?

2day

i have heard stories about guys with kids doing long days with kid(s) in the burley trailers and getting really good work done in the process. i can barely do two hours without feeling like hammered shit. i guess it is a good way to build power, maybe next time i'll get the ride done with the kid in the burley on the fixt. two rides in a row and the work is better with the burley.

solve

i can't get the order right, not that it's too far off but one or the other derails me every time. sleep is keeping me awake...make sense? maybe this is my version of a panic attack, but without the panic and without the attack. i should be out cold right now but the eyes are propped open and the restlessness remains. the solution is coming, thick and fast, i hope. i guess it could always be worse.

sequence

photos follow the ride in the rain yesterday with burley intervals, any questions? we tried to visit one park but ended up at the one in town, pretty dry overall. a brief downpour the first hour then pretty clear.

right?

these people scare me, the level of ignorance is pretty impressive the right has it off, by a lot. preaching ingnorance and intolerance is not the way to solve anything.

covered

again, no boring report on what was covered or what was seen under the wheels, did see snow ghosts and marmots, do they eat marmalade? i bet they would if offered. i'd like to bring them some next time i'm up that high. forgot the camera so i'll go tomorrow and get some pics. too tired today to reload. i think the trick is to get it all in order so connecting the dots is all that's left. i wonder what the key is beyond...the secrets of successful people are a mystery to me.

thirsty

little one's ghosts last night, maybe his new bed isn't the best fit, we'll look for a better mattress soon. today i'll get some work done, no shortcuts. oln dropping live giro coverage sucks, the most beautiful stage race and i can't watch it till august. new wheels next week, i hope. local races next week, too. ready, set?

wind

better and better, suffered like i was on the north sea coast again in the cold wind. it really feels like that mid may and i need more layers, not less more. the wind doesn't make me want to stay home or cut the ride short, it just makes me work harder. i like that, i feel better about the ride if it's windy as hell, more work less time. better.

post

not too bad late in the day the snow stopped and the wind died a touch, got out for a decent turn. finished just before dark, taking the long way home made me realize how much i enjoy the longer steady rides, just past comfortable, rolling through one k after the other.

i want more

is it odd that we were at the aquarium yesterday and then went to eat sushi? unreal food made the day better. though it was my only meal of the day. i need more calories.

cold and damp

pics tonight, the way it's been northwest around here has made training tough and staying warm tougher. it sucks, i feel slower everyday. hard to get out and do work when you know the sky will open up any second. cold and damp. tomorrow is my chance to reset the table, long hard day to get out of the hole i've dug.

better

less last night, the rest was there for a while before going away for most of the night. better than nothing but not the best. clear night to wake from and ride out. i think a duo 24 hour race might happen this summer, a few stand out i'll see what is takes to get ready for that kind of effort. in may it sounds fun, what about the day before? more is better than less, i need to put the ghosts away and get thru the switch, better.

thys

not to be outdone by the two hours in the rain the ghosts weren't going to let me sleep last night. whether it was constant thoughts of time not spent or the continuous coughing, i got to savor the rainy ride in my head. 30 k with groceries on my back and then another block without into the wet wind made me feel like i might be doing it right. read it if you haven't a la flahute it makes sense, when you see it this way, if i had the time to do one of those rides, it would open everything up, a different level. new perspective, yeah, that's it. i don't think i saw many others out there, none that come to mind, makes me feel like i snuck one in under the radar. sure they might have a better ride schedule but i got mine done in the rain. i got more out of it, right?

better

it got better last night in that it didn't get worse, b had it too, no sleeps for the both of us. that's never a good way to spend the night. either way four hours of sleep at best. the sky had it's old glow today, inky and beautiful i made sure the picture didn't get lost on me. i hadn't seen it in a while, nice to know it's there.

report

read gwadzilla's race report from his sufferfest out at greenbriar in maryland. the is one of the best recounts of a race without boring time splits and too much minutiae, i could learn a ton from him. proper. follow the link on the left margin to race prose.

huh?

insomnia, it sucks when 4.45 isn't planning on coming any later. tuesday night worlds for the first time this year, managed to redirect the group up a steep climb they probably didn't want to go up. nobody wanted to say "nah, let's go north on flatter roads and sprint once for the town sign." instead it was a hard grind with the kids dictating the pace. the group shrunk to 4 after that and the rest were left to themselves going up a hill they would rather have avoided. good legs are good legs, not last up, not first either. probably avoid that ride, wasted too much waiting for more to show up, lost a good chunk sitting around waiting for stragglers, that won't happen again. rather chase to catch on than hangout making small talk and miss out on ridetime. keeping me awake right now, not the usual gnawing, new ones, bigger teeth that leave more of a mark than the other ones. i wish the octopus could wave a magic wand and make good change, keep it togther and make it better as it is. not the cryptic maze of parallel choices that lack any true solution, the ones that can solve the algorithm without a thought, tests that have the answers right next to the questions. rhythm that falls together, the pieces fit and there is a solution, not a postive or a negative but a real answer.

a good one

finally. a ride actually worth a snot. and i didn'r even have that much snot to shoot onto the roadside. the legs responded well to the work even after a few hours. clmbing up montezuma wasn't the effort i thought it would be. a few unexpected lung cookies, one little puke when one got stuck in my throat just before the end of the climb on zuma.