good

one of those rides yesterday, the ones that stick in your mind as why we ride. great singletrack to way up high, just a few spots of snow on shaded north aspects. the trails were tacky fast, just a few mud bogs, nothing too bad. rolling over the smooth singletrack looking at the little pebbles that so nicely break up the perfect surface to make its own perfect surface puts me in a trance, my breathing on the climbs and the focus of looking at each and every little rock/pebble adds to the climb to make it more involved. not simply riding the bike up the hill, riding the bike u pthe hill to get to that place, not on a map but to the place where it all makes sense, the trance of the climb. quietly climbing up the hill with my breathing to break the silence, not hearing my friends around me, the trail my own private zen garden, i might as well visit han shan and his garden in my trance. the dirt accepting the tires subtle gentle roll over not leaving anything beyond a fleeting track that the next puff of wind will erase.

mudplate

great little mtb ride over the hill yesterday. the legs are even better on the full rigid. the rough descents over roots and rocks weren't that bad, maybe i'll wait on the fancy single another year. i like riding my bikes the way they are. maybe switch the forks to the geared bike with the bad rigid and slurge for a good ti fork for the single. exciting blogging huh? i want to ride the better stuff but it's still another few weeks out. other parts of the country are enjoying the best time of year to ride, we are still cyclocrossing thru snow mounds and turning around when it gets too muddy to ride. but oddly there are still tons of tiretracks through the mud. we saw doctor hotplate on the way back from morning coffee. amazing, what a train wreck. i had to stop and stare, we all did, shaubie beckham and myself, she was walking down the street and it was like watching an anorexic pygmy giraffe walk by. we had a bag of donuts in the car with us, we should have offered her some. maybe she would weigh more than 45 kilos.

lakesleep

a full lake loop last night and only a few rednecks that went into the shoulder after passing and gunned their piece of shit diesel trucks. i really can't stand that mentality. the legs felt really good, the view from swan mtn over the lake was perfect, clear and breezy descent off the top made it one of the best rides in the past week. i woke up this morning from such a deep sleep that it was nearly an hour before i could really function. i barely remember what i listened to on the commute. i think i got a donut, but i forget. the fog confused me coupled with the dawn daylight. i didn't feel too aware of what was going on. i think the extra 15 minutes of sleep changed the order of my sleep stages and the melatonin coursing thru me, i'm pretty sure i was in rem sleep when the alarm hit at 5. i woke super confused, unaware of what was going on, my dream was so clear that it took a few minutes to separate the two. sleep is such a commodity, i always want more than i have, is that greed? oh well, another deadly sin off the list. can you be blamed for wanting more than you have of something that's not gained by means?

oddly tired yesterday afternoon i bailed on the ride and tried to not hurt myself skating the pool, partial success there. i wish i understood why my body reacts the way it does. the seemingly arbitrary fatigue makes me want to rest more but i don't think it's more rest i need but more good rest. the diet is fine if not a bit thin for what i do. with a good ride at the firecracker as one of the few goals i have for the summer i know i need one 4 hour day a week, maybe when the trails dry a bit it'll come. i keep seeing this one fox near the bike path in the wetlands, he isn't spooked at all by bikes, doesn't seem to care if i roll within 20 feet of him. i wonder if this is a good thing or not. he is so socialized that he just wanders without worry that humans will harm him. the only real concern he seems to have is the dinner he's looking for. the bears aren't out in the hood yet, my garbage is safely tucked away. with all of that daylight on the trip to work right now i wonder when i'll the first one of the year. the forest is getting up, it's only a matter of time before they decide to walk out in search of more food, not much more appetizing than fresh garbage.

two

after nearly two weeks of not getting up at 445 for work i got on the bike today and couldn't believe how much daylight i had. tomorrow i'll do a full ride before work, not bad getting up 30 minutes early to do a spot of work before the day hits. the sky was just dawn colored today. not the cool colors i'm accustomed to at the commute hour. for me to see the octopus' work i'll need to get out before 5, maybe some singletrack when the trails try near the solstice. after that it's a steady downhill until december whe nwe start up again. pretty depressing that the days get shorter starting in june. i miss seeing the colors of the sky right now. two weeks without the indigo makes me wish for less daylight, i thought i was late today, there was that much light. i wonder if the octopus knows how much i appreciate the color, does he know how much i like what he does? the inky glow keeps me warm, some mornings the thought of the purple-black sky is all that gets me out of bed. the stars breaking thru as i roll under the canopy to show me what daylight isn't. daylight sleeps to hide, afraid of what happens just before, scared of the dark and all that comes with it. the different animals and the different nocturnal projects that daylight doesn't know. the octopus keeps it all straight, coloring the sky to give us all the chance to see what it's like under his canopy. it's there if you want it, go see what you maybe didn't know was there.

music

i bailed on the group mess tonight. i think i'm done with it for a while. i just lack the motivation to crash on busy roads because a newbie isn't sure which way to pull thru. i rode home solo listening to the new doughty and the new beck. both are really good but i won't bore anybody with my music reviews. doughty is a pretty cool guy. he's playing in denver tomorrow and then in aspen friday, i wish i could make it.

dead cats

now i'm not a huge fan of cats but i can't fathom this one. i love the explanation she gives. sick sick people are all too common in this world. (click on "dead cats" above)

too soon

i'm afraid. b is only 2 and i'm already worried about the schools in our area. we were told that there are gangs in the schools here, the middle schools! it scares the crap out of me. i don't want my son to get hurt or wrapped up in stuff that i was lucky enough to avoid at that age. but he's only two! why am i getting so crazy when it's 8 years away or 9! i know one at a time but holy shit! gangs we live in the rural mountains, why are they hitting kids at that age when they are so impressionable? oh, i just answered my own question. do'h! my neurosis creep up on me in the evening when i'm tired and worried about the kid growing up without something he needs. support for whatever he wants to do, i would have liked that. "hey you want to try something different, you might get hurt but it's something you love, have at it! what can i do?" i want to be that dad. being a good parent isn't that hard, be there and be strong, show them the things that need to happen for them to get to do the things they want to happen. that's my piece on parenting for today, my $.02

race

we got out of breck for the weekend, visited a little town called aspen, ah, california. great sushi saturday night, good accommodations and a crit thru town. i have been riding a fair bit, i thought the form was coming along but i wasn't sure where it would take me in a real race. being my third race of the year i was skeptical. with a paired down field and a mixture of the threes and p12 fields it was going to be a bit sketchy. i got out front early and avoided the mess that i was sure was going on behind. a mini break happened with me in it! and then a break off of it that i don't really remember how but i missed it and then i was chasing for 45 minutes with a small group but only two of us really did any work. with 4 to go we were caught with the break gone 6th place was on the line, pretty dissapointed with myself i went for it in the sprint but could only get second. good legs overall, the race gave me some confidence to have a go at it this weekend in golden.

warm

we seem to have skipped spring and gone right into summer. short sleeves and shorts today. then i flatted, again, second one this week. i'm done with cheap tires. sick of them. why ride cra pwhen you ca nride good rubber, the savings isn't worth it. dave barry came to my philosophical rescue yesterday, his quote rearranges my thought process everytime i need to change my place.