Outshined

There's a gorilla standing over me, not quite 400 pounds but pretty close. I feel his presence and wonder if I can outride, outski, outrun him. Nevermind that if I sit down he steps back. I did that yesterday, at the end of a nice mid-day ride I sat down and drank a coffee, solo,weird, the feeling was sensory overload, I didn't know what to do, it was like a 10 minute vacation, a few hours on the bike and the coffee melted away and then blew up in my face. Unable to really enjoy the moment I felt uneasy, I was cheating, not pedaling, not working, not doing what I should, but what was that? I took a break, and made a lot of it. I'll do more of that, I just don't want to waste the legs, the bike, the skis, the time in vain. I hate losing.

I wonder what the muscles smell like today. Does lactic have a scent? I know it has a taste, that iron laden, holy shit what am I doing to myself for the millionth time is this a good thing in January, why was this a good idea feeling.

Watch and listen

In and out of the daylight. The sun isn't giving me enough time so I cheat and steal. An extra few minutes becomes an extra few hours. Adding up the accounting in my head, trying not to forget it's January but April comes sooner than I want to think. Don't let it get away.

Saturday's work

The legs hurt in different places. Skating instead of pedaling, trade wax for lube.

All of the same fuel; coffee, clif bars and vietnamese food. Either way looking back at my tracks keeps me going forward.

Plow

I had a professor in college who was all about economy of language, he never wanted more words than were absolutely necessary. But he didn't shower a great deal, an was pretty stinky. So, here I sit writing and thinking about how much less I would write if I had to set the type for the 3 people who read my words. Gutenberg was a genius but how tedious it must have been. We are spoiled by modern technology. Remember the phrase "desktop publishing"? Can you imagine what Gutenberg would think of that? Instead we have to invent tediousness in our daily lives; like choosing a certain vocation, career path, or general habit. Like something involving 2 wheels, 2 skis or 2 shoes. My mother used to say "If you put the energy into a career that you've put into cycling..." blah, blah, blah. Whatever, I didn't and I wasn't good enough to catch a check even when I was younger. My field to plow, my work. I like the fruit and veggies it produces, my carrots I had for lunch were delicious. My field, my plow.

Work

Already into the winter work. Rest is the work between workouts.

Staying warm is the part of the puzzle I like most. Skis or bike, it all helps get through the dark before the light. Fatigue from the different work.

Pages

Leaning on the poles, trying to see all the way down the calendar. Too many different lines crisscrossing between here (now) and anywhere that matters. Use the poles and snow to start the trip. The rest always falls into place on time. Not lazy-just patient. The work today will help shut my eyes tonight.

Ski-d

What started crisp finished soggy. Working with not against the winter frame It was all I needed and a little more...I needed that too. Only ruin it by gorging on granola bars.