Merckx used to say he would weep on the bike. Whatever that means to the guy who won 1 in 3. Maybe because I was never good at math in school numbers fascinate me now. I know what 1 in 3 means but I can't imagine the suffering he went through to get that ratio. Holy shit! What did I know, riding my bike at 5 am in high school, for what I had no idea, it's what I had read in Winning that you were supposed to do to get fast Merckx said "Ride lots" Coppi had another analogy, similar point, clearly. Now, the internet has given us all insight into lives of the pros, or the guys we admire, we know their routines, their regimens, or, what they want us to know. It's clear I had NO idea what I was doing in 1986, I showed up for my first race and couldn't have sucked more, no direction no sage advice from an older more experienced racer-I sucked and would continue to do so for a long time. I wished I knew the potential I had in my legs, maybe I would have taken up RC racing, cycle racing was this inexplicable draw for me, the hours alone on the bike appealed so deeply, the dedication, the history, all of it, I wanted that! After college I raced poorly, mtb races were the ticket into the pain cave. Appealing only after they were done, I hadn't yet learned to enjoy the suffering while it was happening, that was a long way off. Still, I did the work I thought I needed to advance, still, no idea what I had to accomplish to break through, access to the insights was only slightly better in 1992. Today we almost know when Boonen shifts to climb up the Muur in training, winning isn't the goal for most of us, getting out and doing the work well is the goal. I do the work, but I have no idea how well it will work. Reluctance to toe the line just yet, fearful that I did shit work this winter instead of the good work. Kind of like when you lay it down hard and you have that trepidation to look at the extent of your road rash, how bad did I fuck myself and my machine up. Today we know what it takes, we know that fat=slow and just because you love it doesn't mean it will love you back. Take care of the million things you have control of because the other 10 million are beyond your scope of control. More and more time is getting on the pedals, more difficult to turn them in the snow, rain and sun.