better

the nap was just what i needed, getting half sleep last night wasn't the best for recovery. everytime i rolled the wrong way i would wake up, not in pain just discomfort. i crash infrequently that results in this kind of pain. now i'm up and waiting for b to wake up from his nap so we can go play some more. feeling better and excited to be on the bike tonight.

recovery

today will be day number one out on the road after my little spill. i'll hopfully be able to ride with out too much cringing from the cracked wrist. i'm shooting for 2-3 hours, yesterday i know i should have ridden but the body wasn't having any of it. shoulders neck and the rest just turned to crap. leaving your bike at 35kmh onto pavement isn't a good idea. by friday i wnat to ride the fat tires and maybe the board by the weekend but i can't really gauge recovery right now.

pain

if you know you are going to die is pain any worse or any easier to handle? i know this is a dark thought, it just came to me all at once, think about the uncertainty that lays ahead when you are faced with certain death. would you relish the pain and enjoy those last few moments of breath. or are you ready to just give up and throw in the towel in which case the body shuts down anyway and you don't feel anything but a subtle numbness as your life ends. i think the 24 hour news cycle brings the pain of people in other parts of the world close, too close. life sucks in other parts of the and it sucks for people right here but is it necessary to learn about it in graphic detail? i prefer radio news for that reason, my mind is imaginative enough without adding the gory video images to the mix. i know living in denial isn't a great idea but what about living the life we choose? if you want to see that stuff, have at it. i am still haunted by images from 9/11 and i was 3000 kilometers away. i prefer not to see the images.

on saturday at work i saw an albino girl, it was pretty cool to see how she glowed with a kind of luminescent sheen. not red eyed albino but pretty much laking pigment. her hair was just about white too. i raced yesterday in denver and was going well, i felt like i was going to make the race but then going around a series of corners a guy lays it down in front of me and all of the sudden i have a guy across the road in front of me. i hit him and went over the top of him and skidded on across the pavement. i got back in after checking to see if the bike was ok, riding over to the start/finish line and getting the ok from the officials. i was going really well, getting in the mix and not having much trouble rolling thru. then the adrenaline wore off and the pain set in. having trouble getting around the corners because of a throbbing left hand and right elbow, i thought i was going to be dropped, i did and rode a few laps out the back and then hit up medical for a washing of the wounds and an early change into the street clothes.

fenders

no matter what wheeled incarnation gets you around today, if you are in summit county you'll need fenders. today's commute had all of the potential of an epic, except i didn't get out of the house on time or else i would have enjoyed my wet ride around and in. getting wet thru my questionable raingear reminded of other rides too early in the day, rides where i unknowingly in the dark rode thru an elk herd, rode around them hearing their breathing not quite sure what it was i was seeing. i've always been afraid of the dark, since i started to commute before dawn that fear has faded a bit. the first couple 45 minute commutes on the bike path in the woods freaked me out. crappy lights on a bike going too fast over paths better suited for broad daylight made for intense riding. i got over the fear fast after realizing that driving wouldn't be nearly as fun or eye-opening. arriving at work in the dark or just seeing the sun peak off in the east was the highlight of my day, my favorite ride, a simple commute without fossil fuels directly in use. humans do enough direct damage why not avoid when you can?

i keep wondering what if i made a different decision, looking back i have very few second guessed decisions. i like where i find myself, i can't imagine another life, i got lucky. the wolves aren't at my door. the octopus paints the sky and i get to see it nearly every day. almost like my own private gallery every day. i get to see it without listening to the innane remarks of anyone. the private picture show that is my early morning. not that the artist has a ton of variety but the landscape changes by the season. i appreciate each day for what it is, an individual unique work. i want him to know that i like the colors, i don't really know what it takes to do what he does but it always is separate from the last.

punishment

i went to bed last night at 8.30, that in itself was a victory, the odd thing about laying in bed to fall asleep when it's still daylight outside felt like a summer evening i got in trouble and was sent to bed early. even as an early rising kid 445 was early for me to get up. i don't think i really fell asleep until after 9 but the wake up wasn't any easier. the best part was the light rain i got to ride through on my extended commute. a quick stop at the post office (i rode the hallways again, such a fun deal to roll through the p.o. before anyone arrives.) i'm still looking forward to the days getting shorter, at least in the morning so i can see the octopus' work. right now i would have to be on the bike at 4 to see the indigo sky and the stars fighting to poke through.

3 marmots

i saw three marmots on my ride up and down vail pass today. good work solo on the climb, not that fast but in the wind it was pretty good.

guy

i saw a guy who looked homeless yesterday, he also seemed to be shaking as though going thru withdrawl. i wondered what his story was. i wanted to know if he needed help, i wanted to know what happened in his life to get him there. i know people see this all the time in bigger towns and cities all over the world but this is a small mountain town, that's not very warm. if i was homeless i wouldn't choose to live here! i don't have the enthusiasm to get out and see if i can help, i feel more like a casual observer with an active imagination. my benevolence isn't that far reaching, i would feel sheepish to walk up to someone and ask if they needed help. i prefer to spectate, it really is none of my business. if this guy wanted/needed help he could find it easily.

good

one of those rides yesterday, the ones that stick in your mind as why we ride. great singletrack to way up high, just a few spots of snow on shaded north aspects. the trails were tacky fast, just a few mud bogs, nothing too bad. rolling over the smooth singletrack looking at the little pebbles that so nicely break up the perfect surface to make its own perfect surface puts me in a trance, my breathing on the climbs and the focus of looking at each and every little rock/pebble adds to the climb to make it more involved. not simply riding the bike up the hill, riding the bike u pthe hill to get to that place, not on a map but to the place where it all makes sense, the trance of the climb. quietly climbing up the hill with my breathing to break the silence, not hearing my friends around me, the trail my own private zen garden, i might as well visit han shan and his garden in my trance. the dirt accepting the tires subtle gentle roll over not leaving anything beyond a fleeting track that the next puff of wind will erase.