Inside

Looking around for the things I know aren't there,
with a little soundtrack in my head.
Playing on a loop to only hear what I want.
Isn't that the warmth of synthetic insulation on a cold afternoon?
Instead of pushing what isn't supposed to be there,
pulling through on the right day in favor of the right things in
places I know they fit.
Looking soon to see the ink, it's been so long since
I was outside at 5 am,
soon those will be my puzzles and my warmth,
insulation inside.

Two headed boy
With pulleys and weights
Creating a radio played just for two
In the parlor with a moon across her face
And through the music he sweetly displays
Silver speakers that sparkle all day
Made for his lover who's floating
and choking with her hands across her face
And in the dark we will take off our clothes
And they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine

Lyrics by Jeff Mangum, NMH

Milk

All of them milking with green fleshy flowers/While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines. "Oh Comely" Neutral Milk Hotel on In the Aeroplane over the Sea

Jigsaw

New pieces of work to push away the ghosts. It lacks real focus right now and only gets clear-er. The pieces fit like jigsaw puzzles cut by an epileptic.

Balance

Push. Wake up to rough 2 degree blowing snow to have it clear and dry the roads by 1, get in a few hours, work the day. Balance, it feels better when the work isn't easy. Find those windows and get through them when time allows.

Suffering is Beautiful

I wanted lots of things from yesterday, race number one I always want to be better than it is, at least it was. I should have taken a picture of my top tube/stem area to illustrate the amount spit/phlegm/vital organs left on there to dry out in the wind. It was really good, the suffering I did can only be beautiful, a short race, a little over 50k, great work and I stayed clipped in the for the whole thing, 6 times up a 20% dirt road hill on a road bike. That was only place I was strong was on the hill, it was beautiful. On the asphalt I suffered to keep up, the more the better. Trying this time. Better results to come.

One

One in the bag, it feels good, a relief to get number one done, now the motivation really kicks in. Happy.

Prep

As soon as the window opens you jump through it. Little pieces of work have to add up or nothing happens. Just pedal and see where the blocks go, how high the pile reaches and how well it's built. Test.

working

Beast

I always buy good cheese, it's one of those things that just makes going to work worth it. If you can't enjoy a little dairy why even get out of bed? And, if the sign of the beast comes with it? Even better.

Better

I listen to what the day brings, if the options only allow 3 hours, why push for more? I had the honor of getting on the climbs with a fast guy, work was very good, it settled a few of the ghosts in my head. These rides aren't as rare as I get to thinking. Form will come, I can't expect it yesterday or next week, it hasn't been that kind of winter.