Break

Less is more right now. As the season shifts I get to see what I didn't get done last year and over the winter. The more I see the holes in the foundation but at least the foundation is there. Sometimes technology fills in what I didn't, evening the playing field. First break in a while and I feel productive, Listening to the large and ignoring the small for now. It all starts in earnest soon. Ready?

Sumatra

Maybe Cunego will pull one out on Sunday, I think he has a great shot at it. Offenburg will most likely be a mudfest, isn't that normal? The longlist is getting shorter. Maybe the three inches of snow last night motivated the move from Italian espresso to Sumatran goodness. It seems warmer. Good things. Legs go round and round, Longmont this weekend then a much needed break, not that I deserve one, I need one...there is a difference.

Soon

This is what I want.

Cause

There is sound associated with light, or light associated with sound. The latter I think. Sometimes I have to take a thought and put it in a little pyrex container. Sort of like this website. The more I put away and save the more disconnected it all seems. A major lack of pattern at first and then it falls together like a mosiac. Mine. Chaos Theory, or just plain Chaos. Nothing is truly random, it all is deterministic, for every action a reaction is caused. Nothing just happens, it is a reaction to another action, an aardvark sneezing which makes a butterfly flap it's wings causing a string of events that lead to me making my morning Illy. Listening and hearing what isn't there adds up to a lack of rest and more thoughts better spent as dreams I forget.

Monday

Perfect doesn't always fall together the way you want, wrapped up in the right package is better. If it was easy I don't think I could be good. Leaving a little tread in the gravel. 

Jigsaw

Good things in bigger pieces. When I left I didn't know how far I could go. Farther than I thought.

today

Too much snow to even begin to think about local dirt. Snowpack at 150%, big season if you like to sit in a little boat and sort of mtb on water. I don't, I do one thing.

Clear

Little things like bbq sauce on french fries, why would you do that? Riding down roads and streets with manhole covers and storm drains, there aren't any houses, or people. Naked subdivisions. As scattered as it sometimes is I rarely lose a sock, they aren't always right there in a pair but they are usually together, eventually. I have THAT fascination with high things; cliffs, buildings, balconies, wondering if I could make the jump. To whatever, land it and walk away, unhurt. It's always been there, fascinated with the height of things. It all clicks with ease, sometimes the alignment blows my mind.

Now and Later

The demons came in fast, I was finished with most of the days work and it came and didn't stop till about 6 this morning. About a foot, ice on the roads. Late winter.

Going Somewhere?

My neighbors left town, someone asked where they went and I said "Chile" thoroughly not knowing where they went as I don't talk to them and have never engaged them in a conversation, when they returned only a few days later I was genuinely surprised that they came back from Chile so soon. Why would you go to South America for a long weekend?

The more the time piles up the better the season looks. Barriers of some sort are always getting in my way. If it had any real flow in April November wouldn't feel so good.

Time

It opened up a bit more and not squeezing thru the window I could ride thru the doorway, into the Spring. Montezuma Road isn't clear above Peru Creek. Nice enough to do my thing and still get back to town in time. Always thinking about time, one way or another it grabs me and won't let go. Listen to the clock becomes more the crux, the body follows the clock, maybe I should get a watch. 

Sabbath

What not to do on the line. I was dealing with my own gutter demons on the right side in this shot. I stayed up right and got to visit AT land. It felt good to be home.

Inside

Looking around for the things I know aren't there,
with a little soundtrack in my head.
Playing on a loop to only hear what I want.
Isn't that the warmth of synthetic insulation on a cold afternoon?
Instead of pushing what isn't supposed to be there,
pulling through on the right day in favor of the right things in
places I know they fit.
Looking soon to see the ink, it's been so long since
I was outside at 5 am,
soon those will be my puzzles and my warmth,
insulation inside.

Two headed boy
With pulleys and weights
Creating a radio played just for two
In the parlor with a moon across her face
And through the music he sweetly displays
Silver speakers that sparkle all day
Made for his lover who's floating
and choking with her hands across her face
And in the dark we will take off our clothes
And they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine

Lyrics by Jeff Mangum, NMH

Milk

All of them milking with green fleshy flowers/While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines. "Oh Comely" Neutral Milk Hotel on In the Aeroplane over the Sea

Jigsaw

New pieces of work to push away the ghosts. It lacks real focus right now and only gets clear-er. The pieces fit like jigsaw puzzles cut by an epileptic.

Balance

Push. Wake up to rough 2 degree blowing snow to have it clear and dry the roads by 1, get in a few hours, work the day. Balance, it feels better when the work isn't easy. Find those windows and get through them when time allows.

Suffering is Beautiful

I wanted lots of things from yesterday, race number one I always want to be better than it is, at least it was. I should have taken a picture of my top tube/stem area to illustrate the amount spit/phlegm/vital organs left on there to dry out in the wind. It was really good, the suffering I did can only be beautiful, a short race, a little over 50k, great work and I stayed clipped in the for the whole thing, 6 times up a 20% dirt road hill on a road bike. That was only place I was strong was on the hill, it was beautiful. On the asphalt I suffered to keep up, the more the better. Trying this time. Better results to come.

One

One in the bag, it feels good, a relief to get number one done, now the motivation really kicks in. Happy.

Prep

As soon as the window opens you jump through it. Little pieces of work have to add up or nothing happens. Just pedal and see where the blocks go, how high the pile reaches and how well it's built. Test.

working

Beast

I always buy good cheese, it's one of those things that just makes going to work worth it. If you can't enjoy a little dairy why even get out of bed? And, if the sign of the beast comes with it? Even better.

Better

I listen to what the day brings, if the options only allow 3 hours, why push for more? I had the honor of getting on the climbs with a fast guy, work was very good, it settled a few of the ghosts in my head. These rides aren't as rare as I get to thinking. Form will come, I can't expect it yesterday or next week, it hasn't been that kind of winter.