Some days you just can't go far enough away from the center, Looking out at the horizon, it moves away as fast as you go. Never getting quite there, I want to get it just once. Once.

Check

Passing

Rolling around on one engine that is slowly failing, The other seems OK, ticking thru the motions at it's own pace. Crisp sunny days grow appreciation for what is now, what is here. All along the cold days were building to this, slower than I want to be, The warm days pass too fast. Lines being drawn across weeks of sun, Leading to the Season.

Ramp

Unclear eyes and too many creatures going to bed when I should still have been in there. I was out already as the raccoon the size of a 1st grader was going back to his.

Excuses

I don't want to have an excuse, and I guess by merely saying that I lack any. My races and training stand on their own merit, I don't have any kickstands, crutches or subtle push on the small of my back. I do what I can, when I can, and go from there. Nearly 20 years of chasing something I can't quite identify isn't slowing the drive, I don't feel like giving up, I relish the suffering more now that it is slightly less frequent. Riding up another pass, watching the marmots watch me, spotting the big horn sheep farther up than I care to go on a road bike I let my mind wander away from the wheezing in my lungs and push to go deeper and detach my head from everything else. Turn up the headphones, let it fall away and pedal higher. I like the simplicity now more than ever, the inner dialogue is not visiting a quieting place, I look for more challenges to pedal through, to go deeper into what I think I can do. Anonymous as a shadow rolling, the pedals that put the head at a little bit of rest, let the legs try to quiet it down this time. Next time it might be the other way around.

I found a little bit out there the other day, somewhere near the end of the 5th hour a light went on. It was clearer than I have seen in a long time and the bulb shone brighter than I even expected. Something about going out that far knowing full well when I got back in the day wasn't done. It added up to a great effort and the pedals and wheels turned over in my head to be. Not being a distance guy this made me want more, always more.