simple

blue water for the first time in a long while. i may start to leave the pod at home in favor of the camera, photographic evidence of the happenings out there, i see more patterns everyday, chaos theory states:

Systems that exhibit mathematical chaos are deterministic and thus orderly in some sense; this technical use of the word chaos is at odds with common parlance, which suggests complete disorder.

this doesn't really apply directly to what i think i see, but in some ways on the 1000 tv sets in my head it does. on my terms in my definitions of it. i think i can get enough of a grasp to understand the basic tenets of thermodynamics.

nowhere

i have seen this little trail for a long time that i wanted to check out but never have until yesterday. it went nowhere fun. it turned into a 30 minute hike-a-bike, oh well. the rest of the ride was great, perfect damp singletrack that wasn't sloppy. this morning was a different story however. i guess it rained all night from about midnight on. by the time i got to work on the road bike i was soaked thru. the sky was really cool, inky clouds, low in the sky, with a smokey look more common in may or november than august. fenders, i need fenders.

no blue

no blue water in weeks, i think it's my own fault, i need to get in there earlier. i just don't have time to get it all in before the blue stuff is gone. no conspiracy, just bad timing. i like the way a blue water makes me feel. so fresh and clean.

back in it

it was dark and oddly warm today. maybe i was just out of it to the extent that everything was warmer. i was lucky in that i didn't need to turn on a lamp to get going and dressed. that was nice. the light from the iBook got me all the light i needed. on the single today for a change, nice slow commute, bearclaw to wake me before the bullshit tries to put me to sleep. maybe some good coffee or a smoothie to insulate my head from the idiocy.

nostalgic for misery

i almost puked today, that would be three times in eight days, but i don't think it's going to happen, i kind of sat on it for a while and rode thru it. sometimes going harder can put the nausea at bay. there was a crazy lady on the pass yelling about flys, weird vail people, i say vail people b/c i don't think she was the type to ride up and over-and back. you don't have to walk down a city street to find the crazies. they're out there, wow, are they. i was drilling it to get home before i got to re-taste my clif bar,shot and honey stinger. at least no shit-pizza today. good music to get it done. old stuff from when i had more trivial things to worry about, the worst part of my week was the long hike-a-bike in the race. or the wringer my head put me thru. enough of that. blew it all out though, perfect way to get over the hump that is the rut i feel. got home with a smile on my face and no vomit on my bike. life is good, better than i ever thought it could be.

food...bad food

i think i ate bad turkey the other day, but i wasn't sure so i ate some more the next the day. that was the one that finally did me in. rot gut for two days and puke today while doing hill repeats. well, it was my first hill of the day, not a good sign. i 'm not very bright, i ate free pizza today, domino's, but it was free. you know the budget stuff. so i got to taste that delicious acidic hormone-laden canned tomato sauce twice. mmmmmm acidic. that kind of sucked the first 15 minutes of my workout to puke. i should know better, i just don't, even the two coffees today didn't affect my constitution too much. a mocha and a weak cup of coffee was fine, but shit pizza, that i'll throw up.

bumps

i see a pattern in the potholes and the seeming endless bumps in the path. i know it's because of the lack of fat tire time this summer. so much time in the rain and sun and heat has made the potholes align into a great contiguous line. all the urns are sandy or filled with gravel. hours on the bike melt into one smooth path, filled with the pictures of standouts along the way. the wierd things i see, or think i see on my way to work. the wierd things at the end of 5 hours on the bike. not always the same thing, when i see something that's not there, i wonder how it got there.

beams

ok, i'm riding down the road this morning, the car coming the other way has a good 5 seconds to see that there is person on a bike on the other side of the road. so what do they do, they hit the high beams. wtf? i gave the driver a few more seconds to turn off the beams before i said good morning with my middle finger. i have a solution to some of what bothers me; waste less time, economy of language shouldn't just apply to literature. all of these meetings, the bullshit i see around me never seems to stop, ever. what about cutting away the tripe? it's easy for me to criticize, i'm in the ivory tower, insulated from a lot of it. well, really an ivory cellar. in a lot of ways the folly falls upon me, i'm the one aiming lower, the idea of success holds a different meaning, i guess i just want to be left alone, i'd like to put a dollar value on that, what would it cost to not be bothered? i missed playing lotto last night, that could have been it.

closer

the darkness gets closer every morning, i like it, rolling off the porch onto the morning's purple tongue brings the thoughts of the new fall air and chill thru me. rain still on the ground, cooling the day off before it starts, it's only august but it's coming, not too far away from the dark, cold days. it wraps me in it's subtle chill no matter how bundled i get to hide from it.

challenge

it's a funny thing, i want to try something new, not that i have that protestant work ethic thing, i'm really an agnostic, i just want to get a new thing going. i don't like feeling this way, maybe i'm so accustomed to my own subtle complacency in preofessional life, opposite of my life on the bike. i try to do all i can to stay out of the way at work, it sucks the whole set up is really a joke, admittedly management heavy and they solve this by adding another management job. brilliant. i try my best not to say much but it's difficult, i know i'm an asshole but i like to point out the folly.