Aftermath

Is that the class you had after Algebra? Anyway I feel better than I thought I would following the Crest. I even played tennis yesterday, it was so much fun, I can actually hit the ball with some consistency. My one casualty of the Crest was a blown fork on the geared bike. I'm on the single or the geared bike properly rigid. I love it, it's a perfect dichotomy; geared/rigid or single/fork. Cool A.M. ride above the house on the ridge, suffered through on the single, good legs-lousy body, tennis hurts! The single is beginning to feel more like home. The voices are quiet these days, I think that my new variety and medium volume is working to my advantage. I didn't ride with iPod today, so I could hear whatever was out there, or, in there. it was very quiet, I was hoping to see the bear Shaubie keeps thinking is watching her when she runs. Checkout this link for a cool little movie, if you don't find yourself moving to avoid the cars as you watch it I would like to hear about it, I couldn't sit still watching it! http://www.stevencaddy.com/bikevideo/NYC-race.mpg

Monarch Crest

The prep work involved for our little one day epic was just enough for how the ride went, as it was my first time riding it I was ready for something a bit more serious than it actually was. I thought it was going to have a lot more sharp descending. Instead it had a lot of medium climbing and smooth rollie stuff. While riding it I thought about my home trails and how similar and how different this ride was from the stuff out my door. I really liked how it was sustained riding and no roads to breakup the flow, maybe someday I should do the CT and see just what sustained riding is! Three hours of ride time for a 35 mile mtb ride without really trying to go fast, just riding for the sake of riding and not pushing. I enjoyed riding away from the group and just getting lost in my own flow and seeing just how focused I could get on what my bike and body was doing. Some really unique sections with cool views that I wanted to shoot but when the thunder rolled in I was more into getting away from an exposed ridge area than shooting a cool pic.

I had a really good day yesterday. Work wasn't that bad, I ate well and the ride was just enough. The job didn't grind at me the way it sometimes can. Rolling through the woods enjoying the trees and shelter I got to think about how lucky I am. The solitude so easily found living here. Picking my way up the trail listening to the bike, the body, and the music I was in my church and the Reverend was preaching the Gospel. It got up and down just in time. A great way to live! Turkey burgers and salad, excellent!

Everything got better today, yesterday was a victory and then today just put it all into perspective. I saw the coolest shooting star almost right overhead on my way to work. It finally burned up no more than 100 meters off the ground. Seeing that makes the day look better, makes all the stuff go away. I like to think about how far that meteor travelled and how fast it moved across space to burn up just over my head at 5.25 am.

I get worried sometimes, the voices creep in and when they aren't mocking me I get worried. They make me reconsider and over analyze the littlest thing. I question everything. It consumes me, and then after it passes I feel ok, a little more normal, though still skeptical. I get on the bike and it all melts away. Therapy? I think it has two wheels.

I was lucky last night, great ride, great weather and I got to see The Lizard. The Lizard is a log that is on the side of one of my frequent rides, it's not too obvious but as long as I have ridden this section I have always noticed it. I call it the "Lizard Log." He stares right out at me when I roll past, taunting me and laughing at my foolish pursuit in his snide reptilian way. The joke's on him, I have moved in the past 9 years and he has remained in the same spot, perhaps longer than that. It doesn't stop him from peeking out and chuckling at my crash near him four years ago and reminding me of that or telling me to slow down through "his" section. I never stop and talk back, he knows what I'm thinking, he knows what I'm doing.

I listened yeterday. After a week of being sick, a few days of good work on the bike I took a day. I was just tired, needed a break. I feel really strong right now, te crud is gone and the bugs are at bay. I'm reluctant to stray from the path I have been on. Eating a lot, and resting well. I hated last week, it really sucked, not knowing what was ailing me and it kept lingering, now I feel like 50 bucks. I listened to Radiohead today on the way into work. Thom really knows how to do it. The subtle layers of music going into and out of the the last and striking out on their own are certainly a good ride music. With the good headphones again I can enjoy my dark little ride to work in peace, less wind in my ears and more Radiohead.

A group actually showed up for the Tuesday ride. The day before an mtb race and there actually were more than two people. Good speed work out to the turnaround and then a great climb u pthree peaks to get the legs and hear going. After a whole week off I was excited to climb over the top with the leader who set a wicked pace the way. He shelled out everyone else so I guess I recovered well from the crud. Maybe 4 hours wasn't a great idea for the first day back but it was a good day, no lightning to dodge and no voices to answer. After the girl getting hit and killed on Sunday I'm more aware of how dangerous it can be. The voices say well, the odds of it happening again are slim but...

Quiet Head

So they didn't really talk to me for a while. I was too far under a cloud of low-electrolytes, less than ideal rest and well, vomit. I could ignore the random remark and they just avoided taking the effort to find me. I liked it, nothing to answer to, nothing to justify, a quiet head, I can't really remember the last time I had a quiet head. The worry internally was there, not any other interference. I like that. I worked hard to get the rest and they left me alone for a few days. No criticism of my next or prior move, no witicisms of what happened, just a great big silence, it was deafening.

Lights

I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I have had a few good days after being in the tank for a few days, now I know what I have to do, rest! The list of the last week isn't pretty, all the vague signs that you have something, vague in what that is, not that they are vague signs. We all know the list: Vomit Nausea Weird body stuff Crap