Hold

I feel a little plush right now, the legs are a pleasant constant ache. Soft tissue beaten up like an old couch cushion. That meat tenderized feeling after weeks and days of closely monitored flogging. The season is knocking, the bikes are just about dialed and the crisp air appears and goes at a moment's notice. My vision is narrowing, every move seems more calculated, the current guilt level is pretty pronounced as the Breck Epic goes on without my lazy ass on the startline. Instead I see things not in days but in a 45-60 minute blocks of special, blood in the back of the throat, cross eyed goodness. Purging 8 months of decadence in favor of 4 months in my own choosing, my Penal Colony.

Brainstorm

For some reason things are quiet these days. Maybe it's the lack any real mishigas or the mishigas I'm going into this weekend (family trip) but the head is quiet. I'm still dealing with the usual shit, fear of the dark, fear of being slow, fear of peaking too soon, whatever it's all on the list. My shit is my shit. I'm listening closely to signs, raspy throat? Maybe go easier today. Achy knees? More embrocation in the right spots and make sure the cleats haven't slipped. All of the above are taken care of. Hmmm, what's going to fail? I had a borrowed wheel on Sunday didn't mesh entirely too well with my drivetrain, instead pf changing bikes I made do with the 3 or 4 gears I had. Too nervous to try the other bike though I knew (or thought I knew it was OK) but I rode the "A" bike because it was under me and working well enough. Who needs almost 20 gears? What I had was enough. 5 cross races this fall and I have 3 in the bag. Good start, not as good as 2006 but pretty good. 2 kids, job, life-- maybe that's the problem? There is no problem.